I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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