ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
