Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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