he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
