Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize