I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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