brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
