He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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