can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
