Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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