I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
