I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
