just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
bring money and cleavage
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
