I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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