at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
