My first STD was from a foam party
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize