I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
