My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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