I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
