Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
