Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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