did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
