i jhust puked up my retainher.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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