It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize