Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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