Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This house was built for laser tag.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
