I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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