She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
