If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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