I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
