Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
