there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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