Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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