So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
