"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
well you can't waste a boner
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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