He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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