His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
