I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
