I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
