everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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