wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
