he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
