i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
kristin has been a bad kristin
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
