My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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