How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
