I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
