So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize