Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
