she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
