i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
