If i could tip my vagina, i would.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
