I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize