I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
