I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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