Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize