I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
