And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize