We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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