I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i believe in u and ur pee
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
