she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
