And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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