I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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