im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
bring money and cleavage
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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