He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
