If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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