Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize