I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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