That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
